Let’s Ban The Internet.

Apparently, it is now a crime to have an opinion. If you dare to have an opinion, and even worse – have the audacity to voice it – you risk losing everything you’ve worked for during the past two years. I, for example, have been told that my Twitter posts are slanderous (ignoring the fact that when it’s written, it’s actually called “libel”, but I digress), because  I made a comment over being annoyed at a website form that was proving impossible to fill in. So, I wrote a simple Twitter post, less than 140 characters, stating my disgust at the website and calling it a “d***head”. Probably not the nicest thing to do, but I was angry and didn’t think that the website, who I was aiming my anger at, would be too upset – after all, it’s a website, it doesn’t have feelings.

However, apparently, someone – who, as all cowards do, decided they want to remain anonymous – took it upon themselves to get offended on behalf of the website, and claimed that my posts are slanderous because I named a company. Maybe I should have made it more clear that it was a website my anger was aimed at, but http://www.studentfinancewales.com takes up more characters than studentfinancewales, and I would have run out of room anyway. Now, I have a qualm or two about this accusation.

A) It was purely a rant.

B) It was aimed at a website, for heavens’ sakes. A website isn’t a sentient being, it isn’t going to spend sleepless nights crying for hours because someone called it a nasty name, and it doesn’t need other people to get offended on its behalf.

C) I didn’t accuse them of doing anything, the definition of libel (I know,I’m accused of slander but let’s pretend that whoever reported me made a simple typing error rather than not actually knowing the difference between libel and slander) is – “A published false statement that is damaging to a person’s reputation”. Now then, I didn’t state that they were doing anything that they weren’t doing. I said “Give me my money”, because I didn’t want to faff with forms, I just want the student loans process to be simple. I voiced an opinion on the website – perhaps crudely, and perhaps my language was less than appropriate, but I was under the impression that my Twitter was protected, and that only people who have requested to follow me can see my tweets. I discovered that this wasn’t the case (it sure as hell is now!), but it was a simple mistake – it was me, thinking I was having a private rant, venting my anger because I didn’t want to say it aloud in front of my brother and sister, but someone has taken it upon themselves to feel offended by it and report me.

D) If I had made a libellous accusation, I’d hold my hands up and apologise. However, at most it was defamation of character, although I don’t really see a website as having a character to defame so even that one is dubious. It was a personal opinion, which apparently we are no longer entitled to anymore, that shouldn’t have been seen by more than a few select people who should have been able to read my tweets (I’m still not sure why the protection on my tweets wasn’t there anymore, but it is now so that’s solved). No person was named in it.

The most laughable thing in this whole sorry affair is that someone who knows me – and I’m fairly sure I know who, but I’m not going to name any names otherwise that might be “slander” too 😉 – took it upon themselves to trawl through weeks and weeks of tweets, ignoring the ones from around the same time which stated that I was so whacked out on pain meds that I didn’t have the faintest idea what I was saying half the time, picked out a few and clearly felt so horrified by the way that I insulted a website and hurt its feelings and made it cry, that they just couldn’t allow me to get away with voicing my opinion, and had to pass it on to my college. I have taken it as a compliment – it appears that I have a stalker, and whilst I disagree with their methods, I feel very flattered that someone is devoting so much of their time to thinking about me.

On a more serious note, if having an opinion is now disallowed, shouldn’t we just ban the internet? I mean, hey, that’s FULL of opinions – and a lot of them have *gasp* swear words in them too! The precious minds of adults (who use the internet consentingly and should really be aware of its content) are FAR too precious to be corrupted by letting them see words that they hear spoken every day. Now, I appreciate that when it’s children, fair enough – parents don’t want their kids picking up bad habits by seeing swearing on the internet. If I’d been reprimanded for my use of swear words, and if I’d been told it was a parent who had complained when their young child had seen it, fair enough – but when I’m falsely accused of slander by someone who, I’ve no doubt, should be old enough to know better – and worse, someone so cowardly that they don’t want me to know they’re stalking me – then it makes me lose a little more faith in humanity.

Lessons For Today

1. Don’t have an opinion. You will never go to university or get a job if you do, all your relationships and friendships will fall apart and you will die a lonely, horrible death.
2. Check on a regular basis that your Twitter is protected, to block out any creepy stalkers who have so much free time, they want to devote so much of it to trawling through tweets from months ago.
3. If you feel the need to get offended on someone else’s behalf, first of all, ensure that the person you’re getting offended for is actually a person and not a website/object/fictional creature.
4. If you ascertain that the person you’re getting offended on behalf of IS a person, ensure you get your definition right. Stalker, if you’re reading this, libel is written, slander is spoken and neither of them are the same thing as writing an opinion, however offensive, when it doesn’t contain any false accusations.
5. If you feel the need to trawl through someone’s tweets to find something you can use against them because you’re jealous of their success, get a life.
6. To anyone reading this, don’t comment on this post saying you don’t like my blog or my website or the design or this post. I’ll sue you for slander and your whole life will collapse and someone will come to your house and punch your dog in the face.

 

😉

Bullying

I wasn’t going to post one of these “Moom’s Views” for a couple of weeks, but I thought I may as well make a start now. So, today’s topic is about bullying. It hasn’t been very widely covered in the news recently, but there has been a drive to combat cyberbullying, so I may as well make a start.

The main problem with bullying is that it’s almost impossible to deal with sufficiently. The bullies tend to be the “problem” students – the ones who the schools will lose a lot of money if they kick them out  – so it’s easier to segregate the victims. The victims are told to stay away from the bullies – they’re told to stay in the library at break and lunchtime, and to go out of their way to avoid contact. The second one, I can understand but it isn’t easy – sometimes, you can’t get away from them no matter what – but the first one is ridiculous. You’re essentially punishing the victim for being bullied – why can’t you keep the BULLY in the library at breaktime and lunchtime – surely that’d be seen as a punishment. After all, bullies tend not to be the sort to enjoy being stuck in a room full of books, especially seeing as they seem to find school so boring, they become intent on disrupting it for everyone.

People get bullied for different reasons – because of the way they look, or the way they behave, or just aspects of their personality that make them stand out in any way. It could be something ridiculous like being clever – by everyone else, it’s seen as a good thing, but by the bullies, it makes the person stand out. Bullies are inherently attention seekers, and so seeing someone else getting attention for something good is never going to go down well with them – so they bully them. There’s one thing that it’s important for every bullying victim to remember – it isn’t you, it’s the bully. If they find themselves so concerned with what another person looks like, or how they behave, or what they say, it’s a sign that something is missing in their own lives. It’s a cliche, but bullying often really is just down to jealousy.

Of course, that’s all fine and good being written down here – when it’s actually happening, it feels like the whole world is against you (trust me, I know). Often, the only thing that can be done is to retaliate. I’ll probably get slated for advocating retaliation, but it tends to be the only thing that works – once you show the bully you can hit back (whether that’s verbal or physical), they’re far less likely to bother you again. However, you then run the risk of getting in trouble  – somehow, there’s always a bigger punishment for the well-behaved, quiet ones who finally snap than for the obnoxious bullies who’ll never change. That’s another thing I think is unfair, but it seems to be the same everywhere you go, and it’s something that teachers need to be educated about. If you tell a child who’s finally snapped after ages of bullying that they’re a “bully”, you’ll be doing them great damage. I was accused of bullying – it was actually a case of retaliation, and wanting to tell my side of the story after weeks of being slated by everyone because I was trying to be the bigger person – and rather than ask for my side of the story, I was told that I was a bully by the tutor at college, and that made me angry. I confronted the person about it – and the accusations of bullying only increased after this.

I’ve endured bullying, and the one thing I’ve always said I’ll never do is bully anyone – bullies are vile, and scum, and deserve everything that karma can throw at them. I’m not a bully, and I never have been, and to be accused of being one is sickening – but over time, I’ve come to realize that the people who matter know the truth, and anyone who wants to believe the lies can go ahead and believe them, but more fool them – hopefully they’ll find out the truth in the end.

The news that 28% of 11-16 year olds have been bullied online is shocking – and to those who say “Oh, they can just turn off the computer”, they may be able to turn off the computer, but they can’t turn off the words that have been said, and they’ll probably be ringing in their ears for long after they’ve logged out and turned off the computer. It’s time for there to be a real crack-down on bullies, with severe punishments implemented, not just on the bullies, but on their parents if they fail to do anything about it, and the school if they allow it to continue without taking measures to prevent it – and I don’t mean punishing the victim by making them sit in the library, I mean talking to the parents of the bullies, suspension and, if that doesn’t work, expulsion – and in cases where expulsion is necessary, the police must ALWAYS be involved. We can’t pander to the needs of bullies any more – and they can’t be allowed to use the excuse of a bad home life – EVERYONE has the conscious choice of whether to throw that punch or call someone a horrible name, and there are plenty of people who’ve had crap lives and they haven’t ended up as bullies. It isn’t something that should be written off as “character-building” (try depression-inducing), or “just kids being kids” – it should be considered a crime, and punishable as such.

If you or anyone you know is enduring bullying, advise them to contact Childline – 0800 1111 -, and to check out the BeatBullying website – http://www.beatbullying.org , and the project linked to it; CyberMentors. And more importantly, remember – you’re not alone.