Let’s Ban The Internet.

Apparently, it is now a crime to have an opinion. If you dare to have an opinion, and even worse – have the audacity to voice it – you risk losing everything you’ve worked for during the past two years. I, for example, have been told that my Twitter posts are slanderous (ignoring the fact that when it’s written, it’s actually called “libel”, but I digress), because  I made a comment over being annoyed at a website form that was proving impossible to fill in. So, I wrote a simple Twitter post, less than 140 characters, stating my disgust at the website and calling it a “d***head”. Probably not the nicest thing to do, but I was angry and didn’t think that the website, who I was aiming my anger at, would be too upset – after all, it’s a website, it doesn’t have feelings.

However, apparently, someone – who, as all cowards do, decided they want to remain anonymous – took it upon themselves to get offended on behalf of the website, and claimed that my posts are slanderous because I named a company. Maybe I should have made it more clear that it was a website my anger was aimed at, but http://www.studentfinancewales.com takes up more characters than studentfinancewales, and I would have run out of room anyway. Now, I have a qualm or two about this accusation.

A) It was purely a rant.

B) It was aimed at a website, for heavens’ sakes. A website isn’t a sentient being, it isn’t going to spend sleepless nights crying for hours because someone called it a nasty name, and it doesn’t need other people to get offended on its behalf.

C) I didn’t accuse them of doing anything, the definition of libel (I know,I’m accused of slander but let’s pretend that whoever reported me made a simple typing error rather than not actually knowing the difference between libel and slander) is – “A published false statement that is damaging to a person’s reputation”. Now then, I didn’t state that they were doing anything that they weren’t doing. I said “Give me my money”, because I didn’t want to faff with forms, I just want the student loans process to be simple. I voiced an opinion on the website – perhaps crudely, and perhaps my language was less than appropriate, but I was under the impression that my Twitter was protected, and that only people who have requested to follow me can see my tweets. I discovered that this wasn’t the case (it sure as hell is now!), but it was a simple mistake – it was me, thinking I was having a private rant, venting my anger because I didn’t want to say it aloud in front of my brother and sister, but someone has taken it upon themselves to feel offended by it and report me.

D) If I had made a libellous accusation, I’d hold my hands up and apologise. However, at most it was defamation of character, although I don’t really see a website as having a character to defame so even that one is dubious. It was a personal opinion, which apparently we are no longer entitled to anymore, that shouldn’t have been seen by more than a few select people who should have been able to read my tweets (I’m still not sure why the protection on my tweets wasn’t there anymore, but it is now so that’s solved). No person was named in it.

The most laughable thing in this whole sorry affair is that someone who knows me – and I’m fairly sure I know who, but I’m not going to name any names otherwise that might be “slander” too 😉 – took it upon themselves to trawl through weeks and weeks of tweets, ignoring the ones from around the same time which stated that I was so whacked out on pain meds that I didn’t have the faintest idea what I was saying half the time, picked out a few and clearly felt so horrified by the way that I insulted a website and hurt its feelings and made it cry, that they just couldn’t allow me to get away with voicing my opinion, and had to pass it on to my college. I have taken it as a compliment – it appears that I have a stalker, and whilst I disagree with their methods, I feel very flattered that someone is devoting so much of their time to thinking about me.

On a more serious note, if having an opinion is now disallowed, shouldn’t we just ban the internet? I mean, hey, that’s FULL of opinions – and a lot of them have *gasp* swear words in them too! The precious minds of adults (who use the internet consentingly and should really be aware of its content) are FAR too precious to be corrupted by letting them see words that they hear spoken every day. Now, I appreciate that when it’s children, fair enough – parents don’t want their kids picking up bad habits by seeing swearing on the internet. If I’d been reprimanded for my use of swear words, and if I’d been told it was a parent who had complained when their young child had seen it, fair enough – but when I’m falsely accused of slander by someone who, I’ve no doubt, should be old enough to know better – and worse, someone so cowardly that they don’t want me to know they’re stalking me – then it makes me lose a little more faith in humanity.

Lessons For Today

1. Don’t have an opinion. You will never go to university or get a job if you do, all your relationships and friendships will fall apart and you will die a lonely, horrible death.
2. Check on a regular basis that your Twitter is protected, to block out any creepy stalkers who have so much free time, they want to devote so much of it to trawling through tweets from months ago.
3. If you feel the need to get offended on someone else’s behalf, first of all, ensure that the person you’re getting offended for is actually a person and not a website/object/fictional creature.
4. If you ascertain that the person you’re getting offended on behalf of IS a person, ensure you get your definition right. Stalker, if you’re reading this, libel is written, slander is spoken and neither of them are the same thing as writing an opinion, however offensive, when it doesn’t contain any false accusations.
5. If you feel the need to trawl through someone’s tweets to find something you can use against them because you’re jealous of their success, get a life.
6. To anyone reading this, don’t comment on this post saying you don’t like my blog or my website or the design or this post. I’ll sue you for slander and your whole life will collapse and someone will come to your house and punch your dog in the face.

 

😉

Suddenly being a tramp doesn’t sound so bad…

… if you’re ill, or prone to high blood pressure, or of a nervous disposition, DON’T APPLY FOR STUDENT FINANCE.

Your health will thank you for it, even if you’re left as a skint student living off scraps with nowhere to stay. That’s looking like the more attractive prospect at the moment as opposed to heading back into that dangerous frontier of the Student Finance Wales website. Here is a run-down of why the application is so stressful.

1. It’s full of stupid questions. Whilst filling out a calculator which will tell you what loans and grants will be available to you in the next academic year, one of the questions you have to answer is, “What loans and grants will be available to you in the next academic year?”. Funnily enough, I don’t know, which is why I’m doing this calculator to try and find out!
2. Whilst you’re filling in the calculator, which takes ages as you try to figure out what the question actually means (in the end I just put “£0”, I’m fairly sure it’s true), the application form logs you out and makes you start from scratch because if you’re not active for 15 minutes they have an automatic log out, so you have to start all over again.
3. They randomly change your security question from one you’ve provided an answer to, to a question you’ve never seen before, let alone one you’ve answered.
4. Not only do they want you to go through the rigorous process of registering before you can even begin to think of applying, they then want your parents to go through it too, individually of course – so just when you think you’re actually getting somewhere, you then have to get your parents to do exactly the same. Yay! Not.
5. If you put in any information, chances are they will have forgotten it by the next step and you’ll have to repeat yourself. Possibly more than once, if you’re unlucky.
6. Even if you registered two years ago for EMA and have probably only heard from them once or twice since then, you’re expected to still remember every tiny log-in detail. If you don’t, they’ll send you re-set details which will probably also be wrong.

In short, it’s not been the most relaxing of mornings. I’m not at college because I’m ill but I thought, best do something academic today, even if it’s only applying for finance. What can possibly go wrong? My blood pressure must be through the ceiling, I’m all hot and bothered, the co-codamol is wearing off and I don’t think I’ve ever sworn so much at my laptop. I suppose it has been an enlightening experience – I’ve learned that Student Finance Wales make it as hard as possible to secure any financial support, they want it to be as time-consuming as possible and I know a lot of quite creative swear words (personally, I blame my mom’s teatowel, the periodic table of swears). However, no amount of learning can make up for quite how ill this application has made me feel already.

In the end, I’ve elected to do most of the rest of it by hand and send it in the post. I think it’ll be better in the long run – particularly for my laptop, which has found itself on the brink of being launched at the wall more than once this morning.