Bad Timing!

I feel like I’ve completely burnt out, ahead of possibly the biggest week since I started uni. We’re performing the directorials this week and honestly, I feel like everything’s just landed on me at once. I know all my lines for one performance but hardly know any for another, we’re really not prepared, and although right now I should be getting out of bed and going to my radio lecture, I’m still in bed because I feel so sniffly and worn down.

In other news, Train were incredible. My first ever band concert – the only other concert I’ve seen is Idina Menzel last year – and it was amazing. Such a good atmosphere and a phenomenal band, and the best bit was going to see them with my fiance. My Spotify is now full of Train songs – I’m listening to “Feels Good At First” right now.

I really do owe you guys a full blog post and some more stuff about uni, but right now I’m going to try and drag myself out of bed and get to this lecture on time. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going today – everything’s so confusing! – but I can’t wait to get into bed tonight and sleep!

Soundtracking.

I’ve realized that the soundtrack to this full trilogy I’m writing is almost completely made up of songs by Train, with one solitary one by One Direction (don’t shoot me! It’s the only song of theirs that I like, and it’s written by Ed Sheeran, so it’s not all bad!). I don’t know whether it’s the fact that Train is virtually the only music I’ve been listening to whilst writing, or just that Train have released songs perfect for every emotion and every occasion, and when you have a group of characters who go through the whole spectrum of emotions like mine do, Train is one of the only groups who could ever make music for each and every one of these.

It’s not just their more popular songs, although they have their place – “Hey Soul Sister” has definitely inspired a scene (yes, I refer to them as scenes, it’s the performer in me!). However, there’s others that are probably less well-known – “When The Fog Rolls In”, “Skyscraper” and “Hopeless” have all inspired some of the sad scenes, and when I imagine the novel being made into a film – which I often do, because it makes it easier to write in my opinion – the songs are always playing.

I’m developing an unhealthy obsession with Train.

(To clarify, I mean the band, not the vehicle).

I don’t know what it is, but that band just seems to describe my life. Their albums are so half-and-half – sometimes you get the most ridiculously happy, cheerful songs that can brighten your day when you hear them, like “Hey Soul Sister” and “50 Ways To Say Goodbye”. Sometimes you get the songs where you can tell there’s a real story behind them – and probably not a happy one – like “Drops of Jupiter”.

I haven’t heard a song of theirs that I don’t like yet. There are some that I like, and some that I absolutely adore – I want “Hey Soul Sister” and “Marry Me” played when I get married – but I’ve yet to find one that I dislike. I love how personal they are – none of their songs are repetitive, and they don’t have that irritating “Boom-boom” beat, or autotuned meaningless lyrics – you can tell that every song is about someone, or some event that has happened, and more often that not you can relate to that. The variety of instruments – I mean, they helped re-introduce the ukulele to mainstream music, they use a Mariachi band in one of their songs, and sometimes they stick with the traditional guitar and drums, and every song they sing works. It just all works together.

I suppose there’s also a personal reason for why I like them so much – they’re “our” band. Yes, me and my fiance have a band, and that band is Train. We play and sing the songs to each other when we’re apart – like now, when we can only properly communicate via webcam chat, so we give each other mini concerts, and Train is often a popular choice – he usually chooses “Hey Soul Sister”, and my personal preference to perform is “Marry Me”. Every time I hear a Train song; whether that’s on the radio, or in a TV advert, or just because I’ve got them on my computer and like to listen to it to chill out, I think of him and it never fails to make me smile. Train plays a big part in keeping me sane while I’m away from him, which is why I can’t wait to go and see them in February.

Excited IS the word!

First of all, a little introduction so you’ll understand exactly why I’m so excited. Me and my fiance both love the song “Hey Soul Sister” and, as an extension, the band who wrote/played/sang it, Train. They’re like “our” band, we play their songs on guitar together, we sing them, we have it on in the car all the time – songs like “Hey Soul Sister”, “Marry Me” (my particular favourite, for obvious reasons!), and “50 Ways To Say Goodbye”. So whenever I hear one of their songs, I immediately think of him, and even though just recently it’s been hard because he’s back home and I’m at uni, just listening to a Train song makes me smile.

We also both like Mumford and Sons, and when I couldn’t get tickets for their tour, I was quite upset. Then, two days later, Train announce that they’re doing a small UK tour – only a few dates. So it was like fate, we weren’t meant to get the Mumford and Sons tickets because otherwise we couldn’t have had the Train ones. I was fairly convinced there was no way I’d get tickets – if Mumford and Sons sold out so quickly, what chance was there of getting Train ones?

This morning, I managed to get us tickets via the LiveNation pre-sale. Words can’t even describe how excited I am – me and him, going to see “our” band!!! So yes, I am a very happy bunny today. In other exciting news, I go home tomorrow for the weekend again! I know most people are quite happy to go home and then not go back until Christmas, but not me – I love my family to bits, and I don’t think I’d enjoy a weekend where I don’t see them and my fiance. I like it at uni, I’m making new friends and everything, but I still wouldn’t be here without my family, and I think it’s important to remember that.

On the difficulties of distance.

This post is dedicated to someone in particular, and he knows who he is, but I’m writing it to illustrate just how hard it is to be apart from someone you love with all your heart.

I’m engaged to a wonderful, amazing man. I can’t help but smile when I see his cheeky grin, he can make me laugh with the things he says and he’s also the most caring, generous, loving person I’ve ever met. He never puts himself first, no matter how many times I’ve told him to. He’ll always think of others first. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man – I want to marry him and have a family with him, and if I could, I’d spend all my free time with him.

Now we’re going through possibly the biggest challenge we’ve ever faced – I’m now living an hour and a half away from him. “An hour and a half isn’t too far away”, I hear you scoff. Maybe, but petrol is expensive, and so are bus tickets, and even though we make the best of it, we can’t see each other as often as we want to. Next time I see him will be the first weekend of October, and whilst it’s less than two weeks away, it still feels like such a long time. We chat via webcam, and we call each other, and text all the time, but it’s not the same as being able to hug and kiss each other and just be together. I’d give anything right now to be cuddling up next to him, keeping warm in the cold and rain, rather than writing this blog post about how much I miss him.

I’ve taken him for granted in the past – I figured he’d always be right next to me, and I never realized just how much difference the distance between us would make. I knew I’d miss him, but I don’t think I was quite prepared for how much. Still, I know we’ll make it through this, because we’re both working hard to make a good future for us as a couple and eventually a family. It’ll all be worth it in the end, and I hope he knows that I love him so much – whether he’s ten minutes or two hours away, I’m his forever and I’m always there for him.

Forever can never be long enough for me

To feel like I’ve had long enough with you

Forget the world now, we won’t let them see

But there’s one thing left to do

Now that the weight has lifted

Love has surely shifted my way

Marry me…

If you feel like doing a good deed…

… and you’re into random acts of kindness because you’re generally a good person like that, which I know all my lovely blog readers are (that or you’ve all stopped reading my blog because of the incessant begging and pleading to sponsor me and I’m talking to myself here)…

… why not spare a few pennies, or even just a small space on your blog/facebook/twitter, to help us raise money for poorly children in England and Wales? Birmingham Children’s Hospital does an amazing job (I’m living proof of that) , and to show our appreciation, my fiance and I are running the Bupa Great Birmingham Run in October. Now then, for those of you who know me, you’ll know that running is never going to be my strong point, but I’m going to do it anyway – spurred on by the fact that my brother, whose last days were made comfortable by the hospital and its staff, would have been 15 on the date of the run, 21st October. It’s not going to be easy, I’m well aware of that, but it’d really help to spur us on if we know we have all your support, whether that’s by donating a little bit to my justgiving page – www.justgiving.com/madison-matthews – or even posting messages of encouragement and sharing the link to all your friends and followers.  We could really make a difference to the lives of families and sick children; but we can’t do it without your help!

Thanks for taking the time to read this, I’m sorry to keep bugging you but if you read the full story on my justgiving page, you’ll realize why it’s such an important cause to me and my family, and why I’m so desperate to raise the money for them.

My Current Music Obsessions!

For the first time in ages, I have been just sitting down, chilling out and listening to music. Although I like being busy, and love having people around me, this evening it’s been lovely to just relax (well, I can’t exactly do much the way my back is right now!). So, I thought I’d blog about my current music obsessions and the reasons why I’m currently obsessed with them.

Plain White T’s – Hey There Delilah – I’m ashamed to say, I never heard this song until a couple of weeks ago, when my boyfriend played it on his phone while he was at my house, and it’s one of the most beautiful songs I’ve heard for a long time. I don’t know why I hadn’t heard it before, I remember it being really popular a couple of years ago, but I’m so glad I know it now – I absolutely adore it. I love the really simple acoustic-y songs, and it’s so beautiful. Learning to play it on guitar 🙂

Train – Drive By – I’ve been hearing this song on the radio for a couple of weeks, and although I was able to sing along to the chorus because I’ve heard it so many times, I never actually heard who it was by. I’m a fan of Train (another of their songs appears in this list, no prizes for guessing which one!) and when I heard this was by them, it made me love them even more. The chorus is so catchy and the words are beautiful.

Ed Sheeran – Lego House – This one is mainly for the video (Rupert Grint is amazing in it!) but I also just love the song. Yes, it’s played a lot, as is A Team (which also appears in this list), but I could listen to it all day. Again, it’s another one with beautiful lyrics, and the video is very clever – it kind of shows you that the song could be about romantic love, which is what I assumed at first, but it could also be about obsessive love, which is what the video shows.

Ed Sheeran – A-Team – I just love this one. I like the cover Birdy did of it, but Ed Sheeran is mindblowing on this one, I love the lyrics (for a girl who loves epic score instrumentals, I’m also mad on lyrics, I absolutely adore meaningful, beautiful lyrics) and the guitar. I’m learning to play this one on guitar too.

Ed Sheeran – Drunk – Yup, another Ed Sheeran song. What can I say, I think he’s great. At first, I wasn’t too keen on him, but I listened to A Team and Lego House and was keen, and then I heard this one and it sealed the deal. Gorgeous song, and I love the video, even though I don’t like cats 😛

Train – Hey Soul Sister – This one is mine and my boyfriend’s “our song” kind of thing (there are a couple of others too, but this is the one that makes me think of him every time I hear it). He played and sang it for me, not long after we got together, and although I loved it before that (I used to play it on the ukulele, which I haven’t played for ages and need to get back into!), the link to him just makes it even more special. I can’t help but smile every time it comes on the radio, and I love it when one of us plays it on guitar (he taught me to play it too!) and we sing it together. I have the lyrics printed out and blu-tacked above my bed so that before I go to sleep, I can look at them and think of the first time he sang it to me.

 

So that was a brief(ish) and very soppy romantic look at the songs I’m currently mad about. There are a few more (Birdy’s covers of A-Team and Skinny Love, and Winter Winds & Awake My Soul by Mumford and Sons are almost permanently on that list!) but those are the main ones!