This blog is aimed at one person in particular.

And I’ve no doubt that this person will know who he is when he reads this (at least, I hope he will). If you do think this is aimed at you, and it turns out that it isn’t, I hope this blog makes you smile anyway. If you’ve already deduced that it ISN’T aimed at you, feel free to ignore this post. I mean, you can read it if you want, I’m not stopping you, that’s why it’s on my blog, but you don’t have to, and probably won’t see any relevance. I’m taking advantage of the only time I ever feel awake these days – in the middle of the effects of the co-codamol – to write this.

Anyway, to this one particular person. I want you to smile more – when you smile, it makes me smile, and you’re always saying you want me to smile more. Don’t worry about me – I’m ill but I’ll get better, and you ARE helping. The only thing that doesn’t help me, is you worrying that you’re not helping, because I end up feeling like a bad person and I get worried about you. Cheer up and look after yourself a bit – you’ve spent the last month running around after me, taking care of me and everything, and now you need to take care of yourself.

Don’t worry about me going to uni. Maybe we won’t see each other as much, but I’m only half an hour away. I’ll be home most weekends, and when I’m not, you can come up and see me, or we’ll always be chatting on phones/texts/letters (by the way, you owe me a letter, but seeing as you’ve been so lovely to me, we’ll let it slide). And as for me leaving you, give me some credit! I love you, silly, and I’m always going to love you – you and no-one else. No-one else will ever compare to you, and I don’t care what you say about there being people who are more intelligent or better looking or whatever – I don’t want them. I want you to stay with me forever because I love you and always will. You’re my sunshine 🙂

So, stop worrying your lovely little noggin about me, take some time to focus on yourself and remember that I’m always yours!

Now, I can feel a crash approaching so before I start wittering on about llamas (which, by the way, ARE REALLY IN WALES!!!) or something like that, I’m going to say goodbye. I love you 🙂

A very interesting rehearsal…

So, today is THE day before the performance exam. The day before we have to perform not just in front of our families and friends, but also the examiner, who will give us the grade which counts for 60% of our A2 Level – basically, what could be the difference between an A and a B, a B or a D and a university place or clearing! Today was Epic Rehearsal Day – from 11am till 4pm, non-stop rehearsing.

So, as you can imagine, if I was to sum up my day you’d expect me to say there was lots of remembering lines and perfecting little bits, and making sure it all flowed nicely. And sure, that happened, for about two hours. Those two hours of hard graft were swiftly followed by the most memorable event of the day.

We were introduced to face paints.

I say “Introduced” like I’ve never used or even seen them before. I have used them, quite a bit, and I love using them, I’m hoping to do a fair bit of face painting this summer actually, but today we were pretty much allowed free reign, and we were ALLOWED TO PAINT OURSELVES. And I was allowed to paint someone else too, which is always fun. It does have to be clown face paint, so I couldn’t go making people into tigers (which was a shame because tigers are my strong point when it comes to face painting!), but I still enjoyed it – I gave myself a white face, red nose and a tear under my eye, and bright red lips with a big smile (culminating in me eating a bit of face paint which I hope isn’t toxic, it certainly tasted horrible!), and I got to paint a flower and a peace sign.

However, I didn’t quite realize just how hard the face paints are to get off. I mean, it’s snazaroo so it wasn’t incredibly difficult, but it wasn’t easy either, and I now have two very white eyebrows, a white hairline and bits of white in my just-washed hair, which was great. And an orange nose, thanks to the fact that the red stuff didn’t want to wash off either – I ended up looking like someone had punched me in the nose and it had exploded, which was both funny and rather embarrassing having to wait to be picked up like that.

So, today has been memorable not because I think we made amazing progress with the rehearsing (although it did go very well and I am very excited and nervous for tomorrow!), but because I got to play with face paints. Drama A Level at it’s best.

Please ignore the toilet in the background, people at college don't seem to understand the need for toilet doors.

Roll On Wednesday Evening!

I just feel so busy at the moment, it’s like I’m drowning in stuff that I have to do! The drama practical exam on Wednesday has taken over completely, it feels like ages since I’ve written anything properly on my story and I’m itching to get back to it but I know I need to perfect this exam to give myself the best chance of getting an A on it, or at least a B! I also have a Psychology powerpoint to do, but that is nearly finished and can wait for the weekend to absolutely finish.

I’m so looking forwards to Wednesday afternoon – once the exam is finished, there’ll be no more work to do apart from a little bit in preparation for the self-evaluation Friday morning, and I can relax with my boyfriend and not be stressing about anything.

As for writing, I really am eager to get back into it. Finished a brilliant book today and it’s got me itching to get back and start writing, even if I can only do a couple of thousand words or something, it’d still be progress, and that’s what I really want to be making right now! One of the only benefits of doing revision/college work over writing is that I can listen to music with actual lyrics in it. When I write fiction, it has to be epic score type music, but if I’m writing out essays or just revising, I can actually listen to music with lyrics and everything. Currently, my “Wordy Music” playlist consists of –

• “Paradise” – Coldplay
• “Brighter Than The Sun” – Colbie Caillat
• “Somebody That I Used To Know” – Gotye ft. Kimbra
• “Everlasting Love” – Jamie Cullum
• “Lego House” – Ed Sheeran
• “Drunk” – Ed Sheeran
• “What Doesn’t Kill You” – Kelly Clarkson
• “Video Games” – Lana Del Rey
• “Last Friday Night” – Katy Perry
• “Skinny Love” – Birdy
• “A-Team”  – Birdy’s version (I love Ed Sheeran’s, but Birdy’s has so much emotion in it!)

So, that was a little peek into my musical tastes! Approve, disapprove, I don’t really care – it helps me feel more productive with my work and also makes me feel a little more human, as opposed to a writing machine who listens to nothing but epic score on a loop in her head.

On Making Very Little Writing Progress.

Once again, life gets in the way of writing. In some ways, I really don’t mind – as much as I love writing, I would much rather spend a weekend with my boyfriend, as I have just done, because he means a lot to me and I want him to know how much I love him 🙂 on the other hand, some things which are either not so good, or not things I really want to think about, are also getting in the way. 

In terms of the not so good, I’ve had a lovely weekend and managed to stop myself from thinking about it for much of the time, but problems with college keep cropping up, and the most recent one is definitely the biggest I’ve encountered so far (and hopefully the biggest I actually WILL encounter considering I’ve got about 7 weeks of actual lessons left, and I don’t want anything else to happen). I’m not going to go into details about it because I don’t particularly want to think about it in too much detail, but the stress of it is not only making me ill, it’s also disrupting the writing, which isn’t a good thing. 

As for the things I’d rather not think about, it’s actually quite exciting and I’m looking forwards to it, but I’m also really nervous! Well, more anxious than nervous… I want to get it over and done with, but I really want to enjoy it and do well. It’s my drama A Level performance exam on Wednesday, and while I’m really pleased with how we’re doing – the text piece is going really well and I think I’ve got my lines sorted, and the devised piece sounds great but I’m struggling with lines a bit – I’m also really nervous, because my parents and boyfriend are coming to see it, and I really hope they enjoy it! It is distracting me from my writing, but because I’m determined to get at least a B, if not an A if I can manage it, I really want to do well, so it’s worth it! Plus, it is really fun – we’ve been doing quite a lot of rehearsals and it’s been great and really helpful.