Falling Behind and Falling Asleep…

Do you know how long it’s been since I blogged?

WordPress has logged me out. It’s been that long since I posted something, that I had to actually log back in this time. What’s going on there?

In fact, it’s been that long, that I haven’t blogged since I was 18! (Admittedly, I’ve only been 19 for a week today, but I couldn’t resist using that joke).

So… surprise surprise, I’m ill again. I’m seriously considering giving up on my body; it’s doing its best to give up on me. More tests await me – a blood test next week to find out if I could be coeliac, and it’ll apparently take a few weeks for the results to come back, but at least it’s another thing crossed off the list. I’m more interested in how long it’ll take to hit a vein – last time, it took five jabs before it actually went in. I’d like it to be less this time, but I’m not holding my breath.

The play is going well so far! We’ve had fair sized audiences, and good feedback. There’s two shows left now – tomorrow and Monday – so hopefully they’ll go just as well if not better. I’ll be honest, it’s the first time I’ve kind of thought “I’m looking forward to it being over”. It’s been a stressful one, but it’s not enough to put me off acting, or the theatre group – I love them too much to just disappear!

I think the hot weather has got us all feeling bothered; which may contribute to us wanting the play to be over. Those dressing rooms are HOT, and have you tried wearing pancake when you’re sweating buckets and it’s 30 celcius outside? Goooood grief, it’s been incredible, but we need a rain shower to freshen everything up! I’m lucky; I live on the coast – we’ve been spending a lot of time in the sea – but I feel sorry for those further inland.

On the writing front; was doing Camp NaNoWriMo but I think I’ve fallen too far behind; I’m still writing though!

NaNoveling Update – End of Week 1!

So Week 1 of NaNoWriMo draws to a close, and I am halfway to 50k. It’d be really great if I can maintain this pace and get 100k in a month; I can’t remember how much I managed last year but I think it was closing in on 75k, to go even better this year would be great!

So I’ve basically mapped out and written all the important plot points (well, nearly all of them) – now it’s a case of bringing them all together. My “novel” is actually three sections or books, so I’ve got plenty to write about, I can’t see myself running out of steam. I’m really pleased with how well-developed the characters are, especially the main one, and I know that when I re-read some of the Terra Firma Fleet books (available now on Amazon Kindle), the particular character from those stories whose origin I’m writing will have a lot more depth behind her. It’s a really interesting character exercize!

Another character thing I’ve done is the accent tag challenge, for three of the main characters. The way it is, you’ve got Amber, who is almost a “valley girl” type character – blonde, beautiful but sometimes a little bit ditzy, and she’s got quite a generic, feminine American accent, because of the colony station she’s from. Then you have Caydan, who is well-educated and well-brought up, and he’s very much your typical Received-Pronounciation young man, because his home on Tempora Prime is in a very affluent area. Then we have the main character, Madalyn, who you may recall from “Dragon Flight: Wrath”, if you’ve read it (and if you haven’t, READ IT!). She’s a New Manhattan girl, a young mechanic with something of a slightly-diluted New York accent – no real defined borough but at a push I’d say it’s between Manhattan and very, very diluted Queens or Staten Island, from what I’ve heard and attempted of it (my attempt really isn’t anything impressive!). So I did the accent tag challenge for all of them, and it’s made writing their dialogue a lot easier!

In other news, I performed my monologue in class in front of an agent today, which was amazing! We also had a great workshop on facilitation, which is what I really would like to do in the future, so hopefully I’ll be able to do some volunteering work experience with them later on in my time here! Oh, and looks like I passed my room inspection. All in all, a very good day! 🙂

Exciting News!

So, there’s a few bits of exciting news to tell you all about! The first is that the first read-through and casting of the musical summer school this year was great; I’m thrilled with my part and the song I get to sing, which is a favourite of mine! The musical is going to be great and I think it’s going to be a fun few weeks, which will take my mind off the impending results day!

The second bit of good news is that one of my poems, “Stardust”, is going to be published in an anthology by ForwardPoetry, which I’m really excited about! It’s the third piece of poetry I’ve had published but this is my favourite I’ve written so far, so I’m excited to see it in print! I’m also making small amounts of progress on my new novel, and that’s always a good thing, so things are going pretty well. Plus there’s the fact that I am turning 18 on Friday 13th July. Don’t worry though – although I’ll legally be an adult, I’m never going to be a grown up. I’ve heard too many bad reviews about growing up, so I think I’m going to pass on that one.

A Letter To My 13-Year-Old Self.

Revision is not going well – my mind just really isn’t in it today – so I’ve decided to change things a little bit, and I am going to write a letter to my 13 year old self. The power of hindsight is a wonderful thing, and there are many things that I think would have turned out better had I heeded the advice I’m about to give myself. That said, I’m so happy how I am today, so don’t read this and assume I’m not happy with my life. This is partly a writing exercize, and partly because I’m bored.

Dear 13-year-old-me,

The next few years are going to be tough on you, and right now you’re not prepared for them at all. You’re still drifting through school, not really paying much attention to lessons other than ones that interest you and you have a few friends, but you’re not exactly popular. So, here’s my advice for you over the next four years, to wind up as awesome (if not awesome-r) as your current, 17 year old self.

• Pay attention in Maths and Science lessons. Yes, it’s boring. Yes, we hate science and maths, but you will regret not paying attention – I find myself wishing I understood maths and science better because I struggle with it, I’ve forgotten virtually everything I used to be able to remember and I think there’s a few times where it could’ve been handy. Had I listened more when I was your age, I could have gotten As in the sciences and a B in Maths. I’m happy with the Cs in Maths and Physics and the Bs in Biology and Chemistry, but I know it could have been better, if I’d gotten over the fact that I find them boring and paid more attention.
• You’re too young for boys. Disregard all boys that come your way until December 31st, 2010 and you’ll end up very happy and not with a load of self-esteem issues that still bug you to this day.
• If someone whose name begins with “D”, who enjoys science fiction, writing and acting reveals that he likes you a lot on December 31st, 2010, don’t hesitate to admit that you return those feelings, because by the time you’re my age, you will have had the best 17 months of your life.
• Learn as many musical instruments as possible! Start playing the guitar and ukulele early, I only started a couple of years ago and I regret not learning earlier because I could be so much better by now. Keep going with the singing, regardless of what people say – in the future, it will open a lot of doors for you.
• Take every opportunity to perform that you get, and don’t let confidence issues convince you out of it.
• Don’t bring your problems home and take them out on your family. They’re struggling with your teenage mood swings enough, let alone having to put up with you being a royal pain thanks to other things happening in your life.
• Don’t wait as long as I did to get a sudden confidence boost. When you’re in a situation with new people, introduce yourself. Be friendly and be yourself, but for god’s sake, CALM DOWN A BIT. If you’re hyper it’s only going to scare people away. By the time you’re my age, you’ll have found a happy medium – when you need to be, you can be serious, but you’re also not afraid to be goofy and go a little crazy, especially when you’re scaring pigeons away and screaming as crabs chase you.
• Don’t spent your time worrying about what other people think about you. One of the most stupid things I’ve ever done is change myself into a quiet, reserved person because I was worried that people would mistake my… well, I like to think of it as quirkiness … for special needs or something like that. These days, people can think that about me if they want, it just shows their ignorance because they don’t take the time to get to know me and find out that I don’t have SEN, I’m just making the most of being a child before I turn 18.
• School isn’t the be-all and end-all. For all I said about paying attention in Maths and Science, don’t let it take over your life! Chill out a little bit or you’re going to get stressed and over-worked. Do all your homework when you get it, do work in the lessons rather than chatting and messing about – which, by the way, doesn’t help with the whole “People assuming you’re special” issue – and you won’t have to spend hours at home trying to do it but failing because you didn’t listen to the teacher.
• Don’t stress about not becoming a prefect – at the end of the day, the teachers were right. The prefects ended up as basically targets for the misbehaving students, and you can do without that stress in your GCSE year. Plus, I don’t think it turned out to be quite as good as people thought it would be. And hey, most of your friends didn’t get to be prefect either, so it’s not like you’re the only one. You’ll end up having an amazing Year 11 regardless, and no matter how many times you say you can’t wait to leave, as soon as you get to college you’ll be wishing you were back there again!
• There are certain people you shouldn’t bother with, and others who you should bother with more. I’m not going to name them here out of respect for their privacy, but when someone is a friend to you, don’t be mean to them – and when someone is mean to you, for heavens’ sake don’t try to build bridges, it’ll only lead to more trouble in the long run. Small arguments are going to happen, especially when some of you have such personality clashes, but there are people you still speak to today who you had arguments with in the past and got over them, and that’s worth it. On the other hand, there are people you ignored the major arguments with and insisted things would change, and now there’s irrepairable damage. Still, don’t assume that’s a bad thing.
• You are going to miss your friends a hell of a lot when you go to college, so make sure you stay in touch with them over Facebook! Never underestimate the value of social networking; for all its faults it also has advantages.
• Deefer is going to die, and it’s going to absolutely break your heart, but don’t worry and DON’T blame yourself. You’ll have another dog and she will change your life completely, so much for the better.
• Stop wearing make-up earlier than I did. You’re beautiful without it, it can destroy people’s skin and you’ll feel so much better for it. Special occasions will feel more special when you’re getting ready and putting make-up on, and it’ll save you money when you’re not wasting £5 a time on foundation.
• Don’t worry about the future. When you’re 13, university isn’t something you need to worry about. You’ll go through ups and downs of wanting to go and not wanting to go, and you won’t know what course you want to do and at times you’ll just feel like giving it all up, but don’t! As I’m writing this, I’m looking at a box by my window which is slowly filling up with things ready for university, and it makes me smile because I’m going to university – despite everything, I’m going to go.
• In short, to borrow a favourite quote of mine, live like there’s no tomorrow. Laugh every chance you get. Learn from your mistakes – and don’t make them again! Love the people who will love you back. Live the life you love and you’ll love the life you live.

Don’t worry. Life’s going to throw some nasty stuff at you, and you’ll have the scars to show for it when you get to my age, but you’re going to get through. Nothing can get you down – you’re strong and you’re beautiful and, one day, you’ll be writing this post to your thirteen year old self, looking back on the years and realizing that regardless of what is thrown your way, you’re stronger than you seem, braver than you believe and smarter than you think, and I think you’re going to be just fine.