Over-Preparation; the Dream Killer.

What happened to the days of “You don’t need to know what you want to do with your life just yet”. All the way through secondary school, even through college, we were told this constantly. GCSE subject choices aren’t the be-all and end-all, you don’t need to know what you’re going to do with your life just yet. A-Level choices are fairly important but don’t get too stressed, you’ve still got plenty of time to decide what you want to do.

You get to uni and then BAM, you’re surrounded by careers advisors and work experience and “This Will Be My Life”. “This Will Be My Life” is haunting me, and if you ever have to do it, chances are it will haunt you too. It’s looking ahead five years or ten years and describing what your life will be like if everything has gone your way – I’m assuming, from the way we were discouraged from saying that we’d won the lottery, that it is to encourage motivation rather than a “What would you do if you had all the money in the world?” kind of question.

I’ve been notoriously bad at deciding what I want to do with my life for as long as I can remember. I mean, when I was younger, I wanted to be a teacher, Fireman Sam, a dog, a nurse, an actress, a journalist, a historian, a writer, and so many other things. Most kids grow out of that, but I didn’t. All through secondary school and college, I cycled through potential careers like there was no tomorrow – lawyer, journalist, writer, English teacher, play therapist, nurse, children’s nurse, paramedic, policewoman, army nurse, so many different options and yet none of them ever really jumped out at me in the sense that I knew instantly, YES – THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO DO.

I always envied my friends who had such clear-cut ideas of what they wanted to do. The ones who wanted to be doctors, or lawyers, or bankers, and they knew that was the only career for them, and from GCSEs onwards they had such clear-cut ideas of how they were going to achieve that. I hated the way I drifted through, trying different things, testing the waters and thinking “Maybe” all the time, but never really knowing for certain. I’m sure there’s several blog posts on here where I’ve said “This is definitely what I want to do, and nothing is going to change my mind”. That’s all well and good, but it isn’t true, and nor is it healthy – because when you find that actually, you want to do something different, the sense of panic when you realize you’re completely unprepared is horrendous.

I know so many people who’ve dreamed of being doctors or lawyers their whole lives, and they’ve never entertained the idea of doing anything else, and they’re so set in their ways that when that one anomalous module grade results in four or five missed offers, and countless interviews and aptitude tests and BMATs and UKCATs and LNATs prove worthless when you get that e-mail and find out that it hasn’t gone your way, it’s like their entire lives crumble around them. I’m pleased to say that most of them have found a Plan B and are successful, but nothing is worth that moment of heartbreak when everything falls down around you.

So, from now on, I will not say “This is definitely what I want to do”. At the moment, my desire is to be a primary school teacher – particularly in the nursery/reception/key stage one age, working with really small children. I’m fairly determined in this – to the extent that I’ve already started doing practice aptitude tests, and I’m considering re-sitting my GCSE Maths to give me the best chance possible – but I know that nothing’s definite. Things change, and that’s just a fact of life.

So, if you’re in school and college, and you’re sick of being told “You’ve got plenty of years”, don’t be too eager to plan your career down to the last dot. You could be the most prepared, determined candidate in the world, but one false slip at an interview, or a mis-read question in an exam, could make you feel like your whole world is ending, and it isn’t worth that hassle. I’m not saying be like me – drift through life with only a vague idea of what you want to do – but find a nice middle ground. Prepare yourself for the career you want – but be prepared to have a re-think.

My Recommended Reads!

I’ve got an hour until my lecture and some time to kill (technically I should be doing uni work and tidying but… nah!) so I’ve decided to go through some of the books on my bookshelf (both real and virtual) and give you my list of recommended reads.

 

 

“If I Stay” by Gayle Forman

I’ve finally learned what the genre is called and technically it’s “sick-lit”, there’s been a bit of controversy over books in this genre being marketed to vulnerable 13-year-olds, but honestly I think it’s all down to the maturity of the reader. This book isn’t an easy read – it’s not very long, I finished it in a couple of hours (although I am a fast reader), but some of the content is quite graphic (I’ll post a warning now – brain chunks are mentioned) and I do think that this should be aimed at more 16+ than 13+ purely because it is a bit… gross at times. Still, it’s a great book.

 

“To Kill A Mockingbird” by Harper Lee

Honestly, this is one of my favourite books. I love the story, I love the language used in it, I love the characters and I love the imagery it evokes; Lee is an incredible writer. I studied it for GCSE and it didn’t ruin it at all for me, unlike many stories where studying it has put me off ever wanting to read it for pleasure (step forwards, Wuthering Heights!), this one I could easily read again and again, because of the nostalgia it evokes – my childhood was so different to Scout and Jem’s, and yet reading this evokes memories of hot childhood summers.

 

“The Hunger Games” Trilogy by Suzanne Collins

Obviously these books are fairly well known because of the films (which are quite possibly my favourite film-adaptation-of-a-book because there wasn’t that much they left out and the actors were all great and it was everything I hoped it’d be), but the books in themselves are great. I know there’s been a lot of comparisons with Battle Royale; personally I can’t comment because I haven’t read it, but I think these books are fantastic and I’d highly recommend them.

 

“Tales From The Terra Firma Fleet” series by Christopher Maine

I know, I go on about this guy a lot, but I really enjoy his writing! He’s an indy writer and I think he deserves to do well because he’s got a great series going on. Check it out on http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dragon-Flight-Renegade-Tales-ebook/dp/B007B3CZF2 . Great characters, great plots, some fantastic relationships building up… it’s like sci-fi-action-romance-drama all in one.

 

“Harry Potter” series by JK Rowling

Do I really need to explain this one? If you haven’t read the books, just read them! Do it! Now!

 

“Marley and Me” by John Grogan

I watched the film and it made me cry. I read the book and it made me cry even more. This book is hilarious, heartbreaking and so touching all in one, and it really is wonderful. I read it all in one sitting and I wouldn’t recommend it because the emotions are overwhelming; read it bit by bit but just make sure that you do read it!

 

Well… that escalated quickly.

I don’t know quite what I thought the first week of uni would be like – perhaps a bit of a “settling in” period, a time where things are quite relaxed so you can get your bearings, nothing too hard or strenuous, just a few acting exercizes to get us warmed up and things like that. So, there’s an audition on Friday, for which we have to prepare a piece from Blood Brothers (a play I’ve never studied because I was in a higher set for GCSE, so we did “An Inspector Calls”), and a song. I live in halls and while I love singing, I’m not sure my flatmates would appreciate me belting out a big musical number to practice at any hour of the day. I’m hoping we’ll get a chance to have a practice some other time, because otherwise I could make a fool out of myself!

I’m not hoping for a main part or anything like that. I’m a first year, there’s about 60 of us on the course spread over 3 years and very few main parts, so it’s fairly obvious the big roles will go to the third years, which I think is how it should be – I’d be so annoyed if I was a third year, and a first year waltzed in and got a big role at my expense (although I guess that’s showbusiness!). I’ll be fine in the chorus, especially because I don’t know the play at all and it’s not one I’m particularly fanatical about (if it was RENT or Wicked or something like that, I think I’d be thinking a little differently!). If I can’t get a spot in the chorus, and when there’s so many people that seems like a real possibility, being tech would be just as cool, especially if they need people for costume or make-up. Since I’ve started doing face-painting, I’ve discovered a new love for costuming and stage make-up, even though in this play it’ll just be normal stage make-up.

So, it’s not exactly going to be an easy first week – not that I want it to be! I want it to be jam-packed and fun, but not too tiring. I’ve explained about the issues with my back, which should make things a little easier when it starts playing up so I don’t just run away and sit down randomly, they actually know where I’m going. It’s playing up again, which is a pain – literally! – and I’m not entirely sure why, because it still doesn’t feel like bone or muscle pain, even though they’ve said that’s what it is. I’m not registered with a doctor up here either, so it’s a little tricky to get anything done really. I’ve got plenty of painkillers though.

There’s been lots of stuff going on, and a few things going wrong with finance etc, so all those creases have to be ironed out, but d’you know what? I’m excited for the year ahead. I think it’s going to be crazy and jam-packed and I’m anxious not to plan anything in advance – I’m already hoping that fate will be on my side for things planned for the rest of this year, what with Idina Menzel in two weeks and then War Of The Worlds the week before the show (eek!) – so I think it’s nose to the grindstone time; better get working hard to secure my future!