Halls Etiquette – How To Be A Good Flatmate

This is all about how to be a good flatmate. A lot of worries I see are from people who aren’t used to communal living – they’ve only ever lived with their families, like me before I went to uni – and they’re worried that they’ll have issues adjusting. Here are a few handy tips on how to have a harmonious household in halls!

 

1. Do your fair share of chores. 

This depends on your halls of residence and their policies, but it’s invariable that everyone will have to do some chores. If you’re in catered, obviously cleaning the kitchen regularly won’t be involved, but everyone needs to do their bit. I’m in self-catered so this section is quite specific to self-catered, but make sure you wash up your dishes – don’t try and make a cleaning rota, because it won’t work in the long run. If everyone cleans up their own stuff as soon as possible after you’ve used it, it’ll work out a lot better. Taking bins and recycling out, mopping and sweeping the floors, cleaning the ovens and microwave etc is all important too – it’s all our responsibility in the halls we’re in, so if you do your bit it’ll go towards keeping everything nice and peaceful.

 

2. Get involved. 

This doesn’t necessarily mean go out drinking all the time if you’re a teetotaler in a flat full of heavy drinkers, or join the gym if you’re seriously unfit in a flat full of bodybuilders – just be involved in the flat. Don’t hide away all the time or ignore the people in your kitchen and lounge when they try and talk to you – if you do it right your flatmates can be like your family, so it’s important to take an active role in the flat and just be yourself! Be friendly and approachable and you’ll have a great time.

 

3. Respect the rules. 

In my flat, if something is wrong in the lounge or kitchen, it’s a £25 fine for every member of the flat – regardless of whose fault the issue is, or even if you weren’t even there when the issue occurred. Sometimes the fines can be even heavier, which means if you’re responsible for them, you’re not going to be hugely popular with the other members of the flat. Respect the rules and take care with what you do.

 

4. Respect your flatmates. 

A bit of mutual pranking is fine – it’s uni, you’re there to have fun as well as learn, everyone’s bound to get pranked at some point. I’ve had plastic spiders put in all my kitchen drawers and cupboards, and I’ve gotten off very lightly compared to most – people have had their bedrooms tinfoiled or filled with plastic cups or balloons, or they’ve had all their stuff hidden. It’s all fun and games, as long as all parties are in on the joke. If you’ve stolen someone’s key and they ask you to give it back, give it back. Don’t take things too far – you could get your flatmate in trouble and even cost them a fair bit of money if you do any serious damage, as well as ruining a friendship.

 

5. Don’t be so noisy!

It’s all well and good to have a laugh and have fun, and yes – you’re bound to go out drinking and come home screaming “Let Me Love You” out the window at almost one in the morning (yes, I am speaking from personal experience, I can’t hear that song without cringing!). However, try and retain some respect for everyone else in your halls. People have early starts, you’ll need your sleep at some point too – and it’s sod’s law that when you need sleep, everyone else will go out and keep you awake. Your halls will probably have noise rules – ours is no loud noises between 11pm-8am – and respecting them is always wise, otherwise you could have another hefty fine going your way!

 

6. Share, don’t steal. 

Stealing food is a MAJOR no-no in halls. It creates some seriously bad relationships with your flatmates, who’ll hate you for it – money is a struggle for everyone at uni, and what may seem like “just a carton of milk” or “just a packet of bacon” to you, is someone’s breakfast for the whole week gone because money’s tight. If you need something, ask to borrow it – and replace it afterwards. Same goes for cutlery – don’t just use it; ask if you can borrow it and wash it up straight after using it!

 

These are the most important tips I can remember – if anyone has any others, feel free to comment!

Freshers Week: Day One

This day is also commonly known as “Move-In-Day”, or “D-Day” if you’re really nervous about it. This also tends to be the day that students dread the most – perhaps second only to the first day of induction or lectures. This day only really applies to students who move into halls, as opposed to commuting from home, because from experience you move in about a week or so before you start your first lectures.

I moved into my halls on September 17th 2012, my first induction was on the 24th and my lectures properly started on October 1st, so we had two weeks to settle in before we had any real lectures – and a whole week before we actually met our lecturers and found out about our course for the first time! Other places do things a little differently, but this post is focusing on what happens the day you move into halls.

A particularly contentious issue always seems to be whether parents go with you and how long they stay for. Truth is, there’s no right or wrong answer, and if people laugh at you because your parents stay for a while, that’s their problem – not yours. If they’re immature enough to care about something like that, they’re probably not mature enough to be at university. Having a good relationship with your family is never a bad thing.

I left quite early in the morning, because I didn’t want to be too late arriving. I said goodbye to my family – it was really difficult, and I cried at first in the car, but eventually that was replaced by excitement. It was a two hour drive from home to uni, and my Mom drove me up there, with all my stuff in the back of the car – we have a people carrier, so we managed to fit everything in, but if you’re taking a lot of stuff and only have a small car, I think you can rent out vans or bigger cars for a day – always worth keeping it in mind.

Don’t worry if your whole family want to come, or if none of your family can make it and you have to make your own way by bus or train (although good luck hiking all your stuff about by train – try and get it sent up to you by car or post later on if you can’t take it up in a car). At the end of the day it should be your choice, but obviously sometimes family kick up a fuss and get their way, or there are commitments they really can’t handle, and you may feel pressured into letting your whole family come and wave you off. Don’t get too stressed – when we moved in, there were some new students where it seemed like it wasn’t just parents and brothers and sisters – it was grandparents and aunties and uncles and cousins and goodness-knows-how-many-other relations coming to wave them off. Others turned up with just immediate family, others – like me – were with just one parent and some even arrived on their own. There’s no right or wrong way of doing it.

As for how long the family members stay, it helps to remember that it’s a big event for them too – yes, it’s your day, and that needs to be remembered, but it’s a big shift in the family dynamic, especially if you’re the first in your family to go to university. Your parents will probably have issues when it comes to leaving, because it’s like relinquishing their son or daughter into the big wide world – understandable, but also annoying when all you want to do is settle in! For me, Mom helped me get all my stuff out of the car and into my room, and then she left, to do a bit of shopping before going home – more because we knew both of us would end up in tears and find it harder to say goodbye the longer we put it off. It’s difficult, but usually parents are pretty good at knowing when the suitable time to leave is.

If your parents aren’t so blessed with tact and want to stick around for hours/days/weeks, there comes a time when you have to put your foot down and gently but firmly explain that you want to settle in and get to know your new flatmates, and you can’t do that with your parents hanging around (obviously you can, but it might be difficult, but it’s always easiest to say you can’t do it with them around). In some cases, if you’re travelling from a distance, parents have to stay overnight – but if possible, have them stay in a hotel rather than in your flat/room, because the first night is when you get to know each other and go out as a group for the first time.

Sometimes your parents will want to take you shopping for your first full shop, and don’t turn it down – hey, free food! – but also, when your flatmates inevitably get together when you’ve all arrived and decide to go shopping, as we all did, don’t hide away in your room. We all went on a trip to Sainsbury’s and ALDI, and we also wandered around the town for ages, and although we didn’t buy very much at all, we got our bearings with regards to the town and also we made friends pretty quickly. It’s really good for getting to know each other – in the first few days, do as much as you can in a group with your flatmates. There’s no guarantees that they’ll be your best friends, or even that you won’t drift apart during the year and realise you’re not similar, but it’s better than being alone for the first few days!

Then, in the evening, there’ll generally be some sort of party – there was for us. We had pre-drinks at our flat first, where we played Ring Of Fire and had a laugh, and then we all went out to the club. Personally, I’m not a huge fan of the nightclub in town that serves as the “student night”, but if you feel the same, don’t worry – I know quite a few people at uni who are yet to actually go there because it doesn’t interest them, and they don’t seem to have suffered for it. Similarly, don’t worry if you don’t drink, or aren’t a huge drinker – it’s perfectly possible to still have a good time during freshers’ week.

In the end we all got home at around three in the morning and I fell fast asleep, still with most of my stuff in boxes on my bedroom floor.

If you have any other questions about the first day of freshers – or starting uni in general – feel free to ask them in the comments box below!

Mythbusting Uni Fears

I’ve just been reading through the University Discussion forums on the student room and a few common worries have arisen, and they’re ones I experienced last year and ones that people have been experiencing for years and years, so I guess it’s time to maybe bust a few myths and quell a few fears about starting university!

 

Myth: Everyone drinks alcohol all the time – I don’t drink at all/very much, I’m going to be left out!

Wrong! I was worried about this at first – I like a drink now and then, and there have been a couple of times where I’ve gone a little crazy, done shots and Jaegerbombs and had a really good night (although a not-so-great morning after!), but I don’t drink very much – especially not in comparison to my flatmates, who go out to Chester drinking. There haven’t been any huge issues, I haven’t felt particularly pressured into getting wasted and I’ve made friends who don’t enjoy drinking as much. If you do drink lots/hardly drink/don’t drink at all/drink on occasion/ whatever, you won’t be alone! 

 

Myth: I’m being left in control of money for the first time, I’m going to spend everything and then starve AAAARGH!

Wrong – if you budget right! Stick to your budget, and don’t count on your parents/hardship grants to bail you out unless you absolutely need to. This is probably your first taste of independence; you may as well use it wisely rather than wasting it by just proving you can’t handle money. Shop at budget shops – if the thought of buying stuff from B&M Bargains or Discount UK (they’re brilliant but some people just can’t bring themselves to shop there for some reason), go for ALDI – or at least ASDA Smartprice/Tesco Value ranges. There’s no point trying to buy branded stuff when you’re on a student budget; it’ll just waste money. If there is a particular brand or two that you can’t live without and can’t abide the smartprice substitutes, then by all means go for it – mine are Super Noodles, I’m yet to find a worthy substitute – but make sure you buy everything else wisely. Tins in bulk, fresh food sparingly. 

Another money tip – if you can get a part-time job, go for it. The hours on my course make it quite difficult to get a part-time job, because I really want to do well on this course, but I’m planning on working in the summer instead. When you’re going out drinking, be wise – don’t flash the cash and offer to buy everyone’s drinks. Pre-drinking is a godsend, it’ll save you so much money! Limit how often you go out – once or twice a week is probably best, because you’ve still got a chance to let your hair down, but you’re not wasting all your money on alcohol. If you smoke, now might be a good time to start cutting down – one thing I’ve noticed from my friends who smoke is that it seriously eats into their budget. 

 

Myth: I’m not going to make friends, everyone will hate me!

Wrong – as long as you don’t cut yourself off. I was so worried I wasn’t going to make friends, but I got really involved in my course, I’ve attempted to join societies (the one main society I wanted to join hasn’t properly started yet though!), I’ve been out a fair few times, and I’ve made friends quite quickly. My closest friends are my coursemates, and that seems to be the case for most of the people I know here at uni. You won’t be without friends unless you never say hello to people!

 

Myth: I can’t cook, I’m going to starve/poison myself/set fire to the building!

Wrong (again, if you do things right!). I don’t know how to cook – or at least, I didn’t when I started uni. I couldn’t even turn the cooker on at home (it’s a gas cooker and I’m scared of ‘splodey things, ok? Give me a break!). I now cook for myself every night, and I’m not just surviving off instant noodles and microwave meals. Since starting uni, I think I’ve had no more than two ready meals in the microwave – the rest of the time, I have been cooking for myself. 

Obviously pasta is a staple, but you’ll get bored of it if you just eat pasta every night. Mixing it up – bolognese, cheese, different sauces etc – helps, but you’re still going to get bored of pasta very quick. Avoid most student cookbooks – they’re ridiculous, you’re not going to be cooking cordon bleu on a student budget, and I have never gotten home from a full day of lectures to think “Hmm, I really fancy spending an hour whipping up some Moroccan spiced lamb mince with couscous, or maybe some sausage ragu & spinach pasta bake” (however, if you DO get home from your lectures and fancy that, the recipes are here – http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/content/recipes/favourites/student/ ). You’re going to get home and want something quick and easy. 

I’m going to do a full-on post about student cooking soon, but for now, here’s my basic tips – cook portions in advance and freeze. Oven chips and fish fingers/chicken nuggets is not a crime. Home-made mash potato is easy and a tasty alternative to chips. Tinned food will be your friend. 

 

Myth: I won’t be able to see or speak to my parents/siblings/old friends/dog/cat/hamster/ cornsnake/teddy bear/pet rock until the holidays, I’ll miss them so much! 

This one is neither right nor wrong. The amount people miss their families really does vary – some feel really homesick, others love being away and never even think of their families when they’re away. I’m in the middle but I lean more towards homesick, I miss my family and my dog and my fiance (in no particular order, before people start making comments!) so much, but I don’t let it take over my life – I visit home fairly often. 

Skype/Facebook video calling/whatever video calling service you use is a godsend. I talk to my fiance over Facebook video chat a lot, and I had a lovely Skype call with my family (and my dog, who didn’t seem to realize that I was on the laptop and not in the house when I was calling her, so she was staring at the door waiting for me to walk in, bless her little woolly socks) the other day. Chances are, you will miss your family, especially at first, but it gets easier. Uni is a great experience because it is those first baby steps towards independence. Some people hate it, others thrive on it, most seem to fall into a middle ground, but don’t worry about it wherever you fit on that spectrum – there’s nothing to be ashamed of! 

 

I think that’s it for now – those were the main ones that came up, and obviously I can only speak from my own experience – don’t go all keyboard warrior on me in the comments with “Actually for me it was different”; I’m just going on what I’ve experienced. If you have any other questions – any worries you’d like me to iron out etc – just pop your question in the comments box and I’ll either reply straight away or make another post if there are enough questions to warrant it 🙂 

The Negatives Of Living In Halls

I’m at university, living in halls on-campus, and so far it’s been pretty good – my flatmates are great, I get on with all of them, the prices aren’t too bad – I’m paying £102 a week for an en-suite room which is quite big, in accommodation that only opened in 2009, and we have leather sofas and a flatscreen TV in the lounge/kitchen, so it’s not a bad price either. However, there are some downsides – some of them funny, some of them not-so-much. 

 

– Today, there is a sign in the window of the launderette saying that it is “closed until further notice” because there are no lights in there. Call me crazy, but I don’t remember needing lights to wash clothes – not in a room with big windows, in the daytime. 

– It gets bloody noisy. We’ve had an email today informing us that the noise levels have reached unacceptable levels (bolded AND underlined!) and that those responsible will be punished if it isn’t sorted out. Alright, it’s uni, people are going to party and make noise – but at 4 in the morning? Sometimes even I consider complaining (I haven’t… yet!). 

– In comparison to some places, it can be fairly expensive – me and my fiance are sharing a room next year in a private house, which we’re moving into along with two friends from my course, and for both of us to share a double room with en-suite toilet, all bills included, internet, all kitchen equipment etc – £130. That’s just £65 each a week. Compare it to the single room I’m renting now for £102, and it does seem like a lot. 

– Food going missing. Personally, this hasn’t been a major issue for me, with the exception of one garlic baguette that disappeared on the evening I was really looking forwards to having some garlic bread, which was a bit irritating. All my flatmates are lovely people so we haven’t had issues, but in other flats I’ve heard of ice cream, milk, bread etc – and even kitchen utensils! – going missing. 

– Cleanliness. There must be something about university rooms that make them really difficult to keep clean; it took me ages to get mine tidy and I’m praying it’ll stay this way, but I’m not holding my breath. I really like having a tidy room, it just seems really difficult to get it to stay tidy. I’m not sure why – it’s a big room and I have plenty of storage space. 

– The other cleanliness issue – chores. Whilst some flats have actually gone so far as to create rotas – more about those in a minute -, we’ve done the opposite and just kind of said “we’ll tidy when it needs tidying”. Which is all well and good in theory, you know, but when the bin is overflowing and the recycling needs to go out and no-one’s doing it, it gets a little mad. I think we’ve sorted the washing up issue out. I think. 

– The people you live with. I’ve been quite lucky in that I live with nice, normal people – all around the same age, all quite genuine people – different courses, different interests, but no-one seems to really hate each other. However, there have been other flats where people really do hate each other and can’t stand to live with each other, so people have been moving out left, right and center. 

– Having an organisation freak. Again, I’ve been lucky enough to avoid this, but as well as a cleaning rota, some people have set up COOKING rotas. As in, there are specified nights where one person cooks for the whole flat. Now that is something I couldn’t abide with – what happens if you don’t like what’s being cooked, or you just fancy making something quick and easy but it’s your night to cook and people want something posh? I don’t think cooking rotas can ever really work. 

 

Despite all this, I would suggest to any first year, whatever uni they’re thinking of attending, to stay in halls for their first year. I’m having a great time, I love living here and I will miss it when I move out in June – although living in halls has helped me to make friends and feel like I’m part of a community, as well as being a nice introduction to living independently. Being right next door to the student bar has helped a little bit too 😉